Patrick Stewart’s incredibly personal and powerful story about growing up with an abusive father.
[trigger warning: molestation]
I was molested as a child by two family members, and it’s hard seeing them at family events. I tried to avoid them. But I couldn’t at my grandma’s funeral since most of my family was there. It was so hard seeing them,knowing what they did to me. I know some relatives think I’m snooty for not hanging around the people that hurt me, but that’s b/c they don’t know what happened. I feel like I could talk to my my brothers or close girl cousins, but idk how they’ll react.
I know exactly what you mean; I avoided my Nanny’s funeral because I wasn’t sure if my uncle would be there. At that time there is no way I could have coped with seeing him. I take solace in knowing Nanny would have understood, if she had known the truth. (She passed many years before I admitted what happened to me.)
Even before and after that funeral I avoided nearly everyone on my maternal branch of the family tree. I used to worry that people would think badly of me for shying away from my relatives, but honestly, it’s not my job to appease them, it’s my job to take care of myself. I do not owe anyone my company, especially if there are toxic people in the same space. You are allowed to opt out of gatherings at which you feel unsafe, period.
As far as talking to someone, the first person I told betrayed me, and used the information I gave him as a weapon. Literally everyone else I’ve told has been understanding and supportive (excluding a few Internet trolls, of course.) Speaking your truth is always going to be a risk, but you have to ask yourself if the risk is worth the reward. I’m so glad to say it was for me.
No matter whether or not you decide to tell someone in your family, I hope writing to me will help you heal in some way. If nothing else, I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you don’t have to keep someone else’s secret alone anymore.
Reactions of people (age 17-70) photography while listening to audio files on abuse coming from inside the final piece (meaning here) of my project. Since a lot of my main work in this project has been based on reactions and stories on a blogging platform, I decided the perfect way to end this project would be to use people reactions once more. The piece was placed in places where the subjects felt comfortable enough to let their own emotions out and was quiet enough for them to truly concentrate. Not everyone in this photoset has been effected directly by rape culture- until now when they have sat through 30 minutes of it, 30 minutes of hell in a spoken word format. As can been seen, emotions ran quite high throughout the listening process, with one subject even trying to hide his tears from the camera. The general idea of this was to not only create powerful photos, but to raise awareness of what many people look over and choose not to spend a minute of their day thinking of- let alone half an hour.
Really I think this project should be on international news I mean the message is obviously getting across to people and affecting them negatively, imagine what it would do on a larger scale. People need to get the message.
oh god wow thank you so much.
jesus christ this needs to be everywhere
It’s okay to say “no” if you change your mind. We allow you to change majors and change direction and change clothes, with no repercussions other than possibly wasted time. If his touch is too forceful and his breath too hot and his weight too much, you are not bound to your previous decision. If your mimd is screaming and your nerves are sizzling, they are as valid then and now as they were five minutes ago, when you were saying yes.
It’s okay to say “no” if you were flirting. Batted eyelashes and sly smirks and witty words do not form a map to your uncharted territory. Your playfulness does not relieve them of their self control. Your allure does not diminish their responsibility to be respectful. The only path you led them on is that of the unknown, of which the rules of the road still apply.
It’s okay to say “no” if you’re unsure.
It’s okay to say “no” if you’re embarrassed.
It’s okay to say “no” when they tell you it isn’t okay to say “no.”
5 years ago today I got the tattoo that saved my life.
It feels like a lifetime ago since I was lost and alone in the dark, and I have you to thank for that. Every single one of you supported me and helped me heal.
I said I was going to change the world, but the world changed me.
Red Lake Members To Walk for Anti-Sexual Violence
Michael Meuers April 18, 2013 On Wednesday, April 24, Red Lake members will band together against sexual violence in a walk sponsored by Equay Wiigamig, the women’s shelter on the reservation, and funded by the Minnesota Office of Justice Programs.
Necessary? No. Extremely helpful in expediting the process? Absolutely.
If affording professional help is within your means, I recommend it, not because it’s required, but because Survivors need all the help and support they can get.